TOUGHLOVE was started in the USA in 1979 by David and Phyllis York - psychologists, family therapists, authors and above all, caring parents - following their own family crises. It is now an international organisation and is accredited by the Ministry of Social Development to provide services to parents.
Operating in New Zealand since 1984, TOUGHLOVE parent support groups are facilitated by parent volunteers who are trained to deliver the programme to other parents. All parent facilitators once came to a TOUGHLOVE support group themselves, seeking support for their own families. Through making changes in their own behaviour, they noticed positive change in their teen’s behaviour and volunteered to help other parents.
Are you troubled by your teenager’s unacceptable behaviour?
You may be concerned at the lack of respect shown to you by your teen, while trying to do your best as a parent.
Feel empowered – learn the tools you need to bring about change
Parents arriving at a TOUGHLOVE parent support group are usually at the “end of their tether” or “at their wits end”. They love their kids but don’t love their behaviour.
TOUGHLOVE is concerned about your pre-teen and teen’s behaviour but we are also concerned that you as a parent are receiving the support you need. So we put our energies into you, so you can develop the confidence required and receive the support and strategies needed to provide loving solutions.
Parents love the support they receive from other parents in similar circumstances. They no longer feel alone and they discover new strategies they can use to parent their teens. Parents learn new ways to respond rather than react to their teens and report that when they changed their behavior, in most cases their teen changed their behaviour in a positive way and the family atmosphere improved considerably.
No judging – we understand
When you come to TOUGHLOVE, we don’t ask for your life history. We don’t judge and we respect your privacy and confidentiality (we use first names only).
You will find friendly volunteers and other parents at the group and while our reason for being there is serious, we will also help you to find your sense of humour. We will help you to set a weekly goal and action point for one teen behaviour at a time. Things have taken some time to get to the stage you are at, so they will take time and effort to change. Our goal is that after the first meeting you will not feel alone anymore and you will have a sense of hope that things can change for the better.
If you are concerned, feeling scared, frustrated or confused, don’t give up! Take the first step and take action by attending a TOUGHLOVE parent support group. You will get 24/7 support from then on, if you want it.